vaginal necrosis is a condition that has plagued woman kind since time began, some believe it has been around since a time before time when time was but a distant glimmer in the eye of some guy who would eventually decide to come up with the concept.
Like the condition penile dementia which I wrote about in a previous entry, vaginal necrosis is more or less a mystery to the medical community in that a minimal amount of research has been done into the condition due to the refusal by many doctors to accept that the condition is anything more than the insane delusions of women who fail to get a reguler meat injection through having a rancid vagina that smells like the arse of a rotting corpse.
Now I know what you will no doubt be thinking, some of you (mainly the women folks who possess the vaginas) will be thinking that I am some kind of queer and strange pervert who has nothing better to do while on the train to uni than write a lot of shite about a condition which may or may not exist. Well non believers I am here to bring confirmation of this cruel and unpleasant affliction which renders tuna baskets around the world no go zones for even the hardiest of peenwaz. The first recorded case of this most skanky of medical issues was brought to humanities attention in the summer of 1712, it has widely been considered no more than a wives tale, a myth, a legend but evidence now shows that the story contains far more fact than fiction.
The tale goes thusly, there was a young man who had desired this particularly beauteous maiden for many moons, he desired to insert his man appendage deep into her well of cheese production. For days, weeks, months and years he was unable to bring himself to ask for her hand in marriage and finally thieve her of her vaginal purity.
Then one day he saw another was trying to gain access to the sweaty unshaved region which he had deemed his own for all this time and decided to make a move, so he proceeded to get totally off his questionably flabby tits and drank like he had never drank before. He staggered forth and headbutted the challenger to his meat based throne and nabbed the young maiden for himself.
He could not understand how she had remained a virgin all these years or why she had been such a shy retiring type given her strange and unnatural beauty, he married her within a few days of his drunken outburst and slight soiling of himself and prepared himself for a night of adventurous hymen snapping joys.
The scene was set, she was laying naked on his bed in front of him awaiting the thrust of his unwashed pork sword and the sweaty weight of his hairyness bearing down upon her in a slightly rapey and over excited fashion. He nervously moved in for a session of oral lady loving, he slowly parted her legs with a shaky over excited pair of unclean meat hooves (his hands) gazing into the dark bushy recesses of her inbetweeny regions when suddenly he was hit with the single most powerful and putrid odour it had ever been his misfortune to encounter. A strange brown mist descended upon him and enveloped the entire spectrum of his nasal sensations, a grey goo started to bubble and ooze from from her beef curtains and things started to get questionable.
His vision started to get blurred, his nasal tunnels were burning in ways he had never known and the contents of his gut were starting to become enraged. While still holding her legs apart and his lips but a few inches from her sinful sandwich he fell mouth first into her and proceeded to vomit uncontrolably right up her. She screamed in pain as her womb was filled to bursting point with his hot steaming bile based expression of his inner self, the air in the room was a thick and creamy broth of scents and tastes hitherto unknown by even the most depraved members of the church.
Then out of nowhere in the middle of this freakish and odourful event both of their bodies went into violent spasm and they ended up in a 69 position with him still spewing savagely into her baby maker, his anus came down roughly upon her oral region, this could only be described as a bad and iffy situation. Not only was his ass a nugget filled and unwashed land but his bowels had begun to lose their grip on reality and let loose a violent and explosive concoction of intestinal soup straight down her gullet. Together they formed a wedding rind of gastric and vaginal putrification which in a way I suppose was strangely romantic if you think about it. They were found a few days later by a neighbour who had grown worried due to the strange smells and screams that were expressed on that fateful night.
That is the round about tale of how the condition known as vaginal necrosis came to be discovered, it was a messy and eventful knight for all involved and should be thought of as a warning to one and all.
Everything you have read has been fact, yes, I tell no word of a lie, and believe it or not I am still on the shitey train on my way to uni, most likely I shall be late for my first class of the year. Its a special thing.
Ta ta.








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Gotta practice my stabbin'!
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och aye ya bas, touch my hairy haggis!
hows ur course goin so far then?
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och aye ya bas, touch my hairy haggis!
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och aye ya bas, touch my hairy haggis!
Your artwork's up on the walls in our room
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"Now if you dont mind, im trying to watch Jack Sparrow run like a twat." Me, watching PotC
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=Chan-Fan
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